Esther 1

For all the times I’ve read the book of Esther, I never remembered that it began this way—with an egotistical king and his non-compliant wife. King Xerxes had gone on what could kindly be described as an ego binge: "For a full 180 days he displayed the vast wealth of his kingdom and the splendor and glory of his majesty. When these days were over, the king gave a banquet, lasting seven days, in the enclosed garden of the king’s palace, for all the people from the least to the greatest who were in the citadel of Susa." (vs 4-5)

For six months (and then an extra week), the king partied like it was going out of style, lavishing his guests with anything they wanted, in order to show off and maybe store up some political goodwill for the future. But somewhere along the way, in the middle of this alcohol-laced ego-fest, Xerxes decided to show off a little more than his kingdom, and he summoned the queen: "On the seventh day, when King Xerxes was in high spirits from wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who served him to bring before him Queen Vashti, wearing her royal crown, in order to display her beauty to the people and nobles, for she was lovely to look at. But when the attendants delivered the king’s command, Queen Vashti refused to come. Then the king became furious and burned with anger." (vs 10-12)

Commentators suggest that there was nothing subtle about the king’s request. When it says "she was lovely to look at," apparently it didn’t mean her face or her nicely-coiffed hair. The king wanted Vashti to come to his party and show off more than was appropriate. No wonder she refused.

The king was so upset that he listened to his advisers’ advice to "issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she. Then when the king’s edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest." (vs 19-20)

King Xerxes was worried about being respected in the wake of his wife’s rebuff. His advisers told him that if he didn’t act quickly, all the women in the land would follow her example. "There will be no end of disrespect and discord," they said. (vs 18) So the king banished her forever and issued an order that every man, as the head of his household, should be respected.

I find this highly ironic—that King Xerxes was so worried about being given something he hadn’t earned. He wanted to be given respect, although (in this case) he had certainly done a most un-respectable thing. He didn’t care if he acted with respect as long as he was treated with respect.

God is just the opposite! He conducts Himself in a respectable manner, whether He is treated with respect or not. He doesn’t go around demanding respect; instead, He goes around earning it. He earns it by being the kind of person He is.

We all know that "respect" means nothing if it is not freely given. King Xerxes may have issued a decree that said he and the other men of the land were to be respected, but that didn’t mean they actually were. After such a ridiculous proclamation, I’m sure there were women who stopped short of openly opposing their husbands yet felt no true respect for them. A command to do anything—respect, love, honor, admire, or cherish—never works. All those things have to be given freely.

That’s why God never demands our respect. If we respect Him, He wants it to be because we have chosen to do so. He wants us to respond only to the beauty of His character, not to threats or commands to love Him "or else." If our love, admiration, and respect for Him is not freely offered, it means nothing to Him.