1 Kings 1

Several years ago, I did some substitute teaching at a local school. Boy, had it been a long time since I was in elementary! It seemed that some things have certainly changed. The first day I subbed, I noticed that two children in the classroom were carrying what I can only describe as little, wireless keyboards. At the top was a small digital row where they could see what they were typing. When they were finished, they would print out what they had typed on a printer in the hallway. They would go to the printer, retrieve their assignment, and return to the classroom to hand it in.

Halfway through the first day, I leaned over to one of the girls whose desk was close to mine, and I said, "I’m just curious. How come you’re typing on the keyboard instead of writing the assignments like everyone else?" And she informed me that her handwriting was so atrocious, nobody could read it. So she typed everything instead.

I was genuinely shocked. Two kids from that small classroom were using the keyboards, and during my other subbing days, I noticed there were many other children in the school who also used them. This really floored me. When I was in elementary school, we actually had to practice our handwriting. And if it was unreadable, we did it over again.

Now, this may seem like a small, petty thing (and, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not that big of a deal), but I think it’s an indication of a growing problem in our society: that we have begun to make excuses for things that in the past, would have been confronted head-on. I mean, it’s not like poor handwriting is the end of the world. Some people might say those kids are prime candidates for medical school. (Ever met a doctor with good handwriting?) But, when children are so young, why not teach them to tackle and overcome their weaknesses, instead of just finding a way around them?

Granted, there are much bigger problems in the world than poor handwriting. But once a principle of excuses is embraced, doesn't it tend to spill over into other things?

We saw an example of it in this chapter of 1 Kings: "Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, 'I will be king.' So he got chariots and horses ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him. (His father had never rebuked him by asking, 'Why do you behave as you do?' He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)" (vs 5-6)

I love it when the Bible surprises me. And I just loved that little "oh-by-the-way" tidbit thrown into that verse: His father had never rebuked him by asking, "Why do you behave as you do?" In other words, David had coddled his son. He had never confronted Adonijah about anything. Instead of addressing his character weaknesses or behavior problems, David had made excuses for him. Instead of challenging Adonijah to work on his handwriting, he had given him a computer and a printer instead.

And where did that get David? We might naturally think that a parent who was so lenient on a child would be treated with admiration and respect. Certainly, this would be the child who would call his parent "a friend." But that’s not what happened. Instead, Adonijah treated David with no respect, attempting to usurp the throne from him. He didn’t admire his father at all; he treated David with contempt.

Making excuses for Adonijah didn’t work out so well for David, and neither was it the loving thing to do for Adonijah. It didn’t help him; it crippled him. That’s why God doesn’t use excuse-based parenting. If we have major problems to be addressed, God doesn’t coddle us. He confronts us. He challenges us to strive for something better. He never just leaves us to wallow in mediocrity. He’ll never say "it’s okay" when it’s not. Even to the woman caught in adultery (which is the premiere story of God’s grace to sinners), Jesus ended His kind remarks to her with Go now, and try to be a better girl in the future.

I don’t know about you, but I’m glad God is like that. At the moment, it may seem like it gives us a much tougher row to hoe, but God has our best interests at heart. And He knows that to coddle us in our problems is, in the end, to see us destroyed. And far from wanting to see us destroyed, He wants to see us become something beyond our wildest imaginations. God often takes a hard line with us, and it’s the loving thing to do. He certainly doesn’t coddle His difficult children!